The Hardest Word
by Carlyx
Summary: Even before Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy arrived for their first year at Hogwarts, they had been enemies. But sometimes the line between love and hate is not as certain as it seems. HP/DM


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Harry Potter.****Everything belongs to Jk Rowling, Warner Bros, etc, etc.**

**A/N - Thank you to my wonderful beta's, Stringofpearls and Hekate101. Thank you to Maeve Malfoy for helping out as well.**

The Hardest Word

_A Harry/Draco Fic_

Draco Malfoy's day had started out fairly well; as well as could be expected for a Monday, anyway. He had gotten up, taken a long shower, gotten dressed into his usual Slytherin robes and finally dried his silky blonde hair. He had decided to leave it soft and un-gelled that day and he looked stunning, even more than usual. Yes, whether they admitted it or not, most of the females and a good percentage of the males at Hogwarts wanted a piece of him and he knew it. He ran a hand through his hair and smirked the trademark Malfoy smirk when his reflection in the mirror told him he was gorgeous.

"Well, well, don't _you_ look pretty this morning," said Blaise, grinning.

"Oh Blaise, you are such a charmer," he said, with one delicate eyebrow raised. Then with one last look in the mirror, Draco set off to the Great Hall for breakfast.

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Harry Potter's day had started off just as well. He had gotten up, taken a quick shower, pulled on his Gryffindor school robes, and ran a comb through his messy raven hair.

"Ron, are you ready mate?" He shook his head and looked over at his best friend. He was lying in his bed, still sound asleep with his mouth hanging open. "Ron, you're going to miss breakfast!"

At hearing these words, Ron jumped out of bed and began hammering on the bathroom door.

"Seamus! Get your arse out of that shower! I'm going to miss my breakfast!" Seamus swaggered out of the bathroom, grinning, with a white towel round his waist. "Alright, don't get yer knickers in a twist."

The other four boys in the dorm sniggered as they watched Ron race into the bathroom and fling the door shut behind him.

"Right guys, I'm gonna go now, I'll see you at potions if you don't make it to breakfast."

"See you, Harry!" called Dean, Seamus, and Neville.

Then, with one last wave, Harry made his way down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

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As Draco sat pondering what to eat, he looked up to see Harry Potter walk in. His eyes followed Harry and watched as the boy took his usual seat at the Gryffindor table. Harry, oblivious to the fact that he was being watched, began tucking into a plate of eggs, bacon, and potato scones. Oh, Potter annoyed him. With his awful hair and dreadful taste in clothes and the way he always managed to get out of trouble. Draco could go on like this for a long time; there were a lot of things he didn't like about Harry Potter, after all, he had known and disliked him for a very long time.

It had all started when they were eleven; it hadn't even started at Hogwarts. They had been in Madam Malkin's robe shop. Harry had seemed nice, and Draco had begun talking to him. Harry hadn't spoken much, but Draco had still taken an immediate liking to him and was sure that they would be friends at Hogwarts. So when Draco had seen him on the train, he had gone in and offered his friendship to him. But after that it had all gone horribly wrong; Harry rejected him for the Weasel, and even though he would never admit it, Draco had been left feeling hurt and embarrassed. So Draco set out to try and make Potter and his friends feel the way he had that day on the train.

Draco was pulled abruptly from his thoughts as his best friend Pansy Parkinson kissed him on the cheek and sat down beside him.

Oh, he hated it when she did that in public.

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Harry had been thinking about how good the potato scones were when his other best friend, Hermione Granger, bounced in and sat beside him.

"Morning, Hermione."

"Morning!"

"What are you so happy about today?" Harry asked, smiling fondly at his friend.

"Well, Professor Snape is away today and we get to choose a potion to make from all the ones we've made, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. But we'll still have to work with the Slytherins -- knowing Snape, he'll have left a list of the pairs."

"Hmm, well yes, but it's better than having Snape _and_ working with Slytherins," said Hermione, beaming at him.

"I s'pose."

Their conversation was put to a stop when Ron Weasley came running into the hall looking rather flustered.

"What's the matter, Ron?" asked Hermione, looking a little concerned.

"I thought – that I – was – going to – miss breakfast," Ron gasped, his speech punctuated with sharp panting noises.

Ron proceeded to dig into as much food as he could reach. Hermione shook her head with a combination of amusement and exasperation while Harry snickered into his breakfast.

Once Ron had eaten all the food he could handle, the trio made their way to potions.

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"Hello, my name is Professor Derliroe and I will be taking you for potions for the next two periods. Professor Snape has left me instructions saying that you must all brew a potion of your choice from pages one to thirty in your books. He has also left a list of the partners you will be working in."

The whole class groaned at this.

Draco took an immediate dislike to the woman. She held a false air of cheeriness around her and he could tell that there were so many other places she would rather be than in these dungeons teaching this class, (not that she was doing much teaching, mind you).

"Alright, Blaise Zabini and Seamus Finnigan, you two will be working together"

Draco wasn't sure if anyone else had noticed, but Blaise didn't look quite as annoyed as he should have at being paired with the Gryffindor. In fact, he didn't really look annoyed at all. Draco shook his head; he had always known that Blaise was gay -- they were best friends, after all -- but fancying a Gryffindor? That was something only Blaise was strange enough to do.

"Hermione Granger and Pansy Parkinson; Ronald Weasley and Gregory Goyle; Neville Longbottom and Vincent Crabbe..."

Draco let out a snort at the look of absolute terror on Longbottom's face at being paired with Crabbe. As more and more of his classmates were paired up, Draco began to get the sinking feeling that he was going to get stuck with Potter.

"…Millicent Bulstrode and Lavender Brown, and last but not least, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy."

'Oh Merlin, and the day had started off so well.'

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Both boys picked up their things and moved over to the other side of the class were the cauldrons were and put there things on the small desk beside the cauldron.

"We are making a colour changing potion." Draco said.

"Fine."

"Good."

"Well…get the ingredients then." Said Harry.

"What? Draco asked. "Why me?"

"Because you are the one who wanted to make this potion in the first place."

Draco was about to argue but decided against it. "Fine. You light the cauldron." He turned and walked away to the supplies cupboard.

"Arrogant twat." Muttered Harry under his breath as he flicked his wand at the bottom of the cauldron to light the flames.

Draco came back carrying a stack of ingredients and set them down onto the desk. Harry just stood by and watched as Draco chopped up the beetle's legs and dropped them into the cauldron.

"Stir the cauldron, Potter, two stirs anti-clockwise and one clockwise."

"Right."

The two boys worked in silence for the next half hour. Draco chopping and Harry stirring.

"Turn the cauldron down, Potter, and leave it to simmer; we can start our notes now."

They moved back to the other side of the class and sat down at a desk. They were so intent on ignoring each other and getting down the notes that neither boy noticed Theodore Nott hex their cauldron.

Harry finished his notes, got up and walked over to check the cauldron, anything to get away from Malfoy. The potion began to bubble and hiss. Harry turned back to Draco to ask if that was supposed to be happening when the potion exploded. Thick violet goo flew across the room, splattering all the students near by and coating Harry head to foot. He held out his arms, looked down at his body and gasped. Everywhere the potion had touched was flashing in the colours of the rainbow. He turned around to look at the rest of the class, only Ron, Seamus, Blaise Zabini and Gregory Goyle Had been splattered, everyone else was over at the other side of the room to write their notes.

Positive this was Malfoy's fault Harry turned to face the blond and unable to find the words to express his disgust just shook his head at him before exiting the classroom.

The class broke out in lots of whispering and giggling.

"Who is responsible for this nonsense?" yelled Professor Derliroe over the noise.

Everyone ignored her and carried on with their conversations.

"Ma'am, can we go to the hospital wing?" asked Seamus gesturing towards himself and Ron.

"Yes, all four of you go." She replied waving her hand at them.

Draco felt a strong surge of guilt at the look on Potter's face and he wasn't quite sure why; he hadn't even done anything! But he began to wonder if the boy always looked that hurt when he played pranks on him. The more Draco thought about it, the guiltier he felt, and the guiltier he felt the more confused he got. So when Professor Derliroe dismissed the rest of the class, he went straight to the common room to talk to Pansy. He was sure she would know what to do.

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"Pansy, I need your advice," he said, slumping down in the sofa beside her quarter of an hour later.

"What about, Draco?" asked Pansy setting the transfiguration essay that she had just began down onto the arm of the sofa and turning round to face him.

"Well, it's just that in potions before Potter stormed out he gave me this look because he thought it was me and of course it wasn't because I wouldn't sabotage my own potion just to get at Potter, but-"

Pansy interrupted him. "Draco, you're rambling. Get to the point."

"Oh, right." Draco looked uncomfortable and began staring down at his shoes.

"Well, when he looked at me I felt guilty, but I didn't know why because I didn't do anything, but then I started wondering if he always looked like that when I pulled pranks on him. But I shouldn't care, I mean, I hate him! I'm supposed to _enjoy_ hurting and embarrassing him!"

"Draco, are you sure you actually hate him?" Pansy asked quietly.

"Yes, of course … kind of … well no, but… I _really_ don't like him!"

Pansy began to understand what was going on in the boy's head. She remembered that first day on the train too. She had been sitting in the compartment talking to Blaise when Draco had stormed in with a face like thunder, Crabbe and Goyle closely following him, looking unsure of what to do with themselves. Later, when Draco was in the bathroom, they had explained what had happened and how Potter had rejected Draco; she knew immediately that his feelings had been hurt but that his pride would never let him admit it. Pansy knew that Draco disliked Potter, but she also knew that deep down part of him just wanted to be liked by the other boy.

"Draco, as much as it pains me to say it, I think you should speak to Potter. Just try and sort things out. I know he hurt you, but I also know that deep down you just want to be accepted by him. You don't need to pretend with me."

She watched as shock flickered across her friend's face and was quickly covered up by that cold mask that he wore so well.

"I don't know what you are talking about, Parkinson. Why would _I_ want to be liked by _Potter_?" Draco spat, his lips curving into a sneer as he stood up.

Pansy looked on with concern shining in her eyes as her friend strode out of the common room. She really hoped that he would be able to swallow his pride and take her advice.

**A/N - Hope you all like it. Please Review! ****Chapter two should be up quite soon.**

Love,

**Carlyx**


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